Winds of Change

Everything is just different. Its not what it used to be, it never will or can be. Too much water under too many bridges? But, it is still something pretty damn fine. For the last week S has fucked me almost every day. The physical connection is fantastic, but beyond that we are laughing together again. We come together everyday for at least a while and actually enjoy one another. i feel so much bitterness and hurt slipping from me. i am begining to remember that feeling of utter peace and security i once felt with him. Actually not so long ago. i don’t seem to be able to accomplish anything right now though. my concentration is slowly beginning to return, ah..but not really. so many things to do, so little time to do them all in. i want to design a new look for this blog, to celebrate a renewal that is occurring between S and myself, but damn it, i cannot get that done either. And, i still haven’t found both the time and guts to blog a hot and juicy scene. And, so all those wonderful memories will escape me eventually and it is sad. i am battling nutsiness right now, which is circling me in the form of a particularly evil flashback. Sometimes i get tired of dealing with it. i just want it to go the fuck away. Christian’s potty training is still dragging on. Potty hell. It seems it will never end and i am trapped in the house until it does. i cannot very well take Chrisitian out to piss and shit all over everything, can i? It is starting to drive me rather nuts. so now my only time off from it is on weekends…

we decided this morning to forego the bus and get a room in quebec..S says he wants the privacy…which is okies with me. i think his main problem is he has to maintain his kinky side and keep it hidden if we are on the bus. right now he’s fallen asleep and probably will stay that way until this afternoon..he’s been working his ass off and i’m worried he isn’t resting enough. so i will let him sleep and i will just cruise the internets and when that bores me i’ll go back and cuddle into his arms again and hopefully sleep myself. sleep is still eluding me.


About Mae East

Brooklyn NYC and vicinity.
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