This post shouldn’t be on this blog. It should be on my other one that no one knows about. However, it has becoming a hassle to have 2 blogs, so I am going to start combing the two of them together. Which will probably cause much confusion among my readers. For that I apologize, but hopefully eventually it will all start to come together and make sense in the long run. I am certain this will alway cause S to almost hurtle into another hemisphere. Hopefully he will soon come to realize my intentions behind this.
I need to take a step back and breathe. As much as I love my time I have with P (and believe me I do!!!) … I need to gather my thoughts. Hopefully in the next few days I’ll know why he hasn’t bothered to call me since I left Illinois (when we were supposed to be working on things). Yes, I’m still trying to give benefit of the doubt. But at the same time I can’t pretend that this isn’t just eating me alive either.
I think I’m letting my emotions rule and I need to let my head be the ruler. I don’t want what P and I have to end. I just need to keep my feelings in check before I end up with a broken heart.